


Working for the FBI Isn't a Damn Cakewalk, Kiddos

by jaztice



Category: Now You See Me (Movies)
Genre: AU where Jack and Lula are like 14 and live with Dylan, Gen, Help, There's a reason for this, and by reason i mean an entire fic that i never finished writing, anyway......., haha - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:37:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7572688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaztice/pseuds/jaztice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Lula used to be the most dangerous pair of teenage magicians in New York City, until a series of insane events end with them both captured by the FBI.<br/>But Agent Dylan Rhodes gives them an out; work for the FBI and live with him, and they wouldn't have to go to Juvy. They accepted.</p><p>Aka, some drabbles with 14-year-olds Jack and Lula and their FBI dad. It's just as ridiculous as it sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't Play a Player, Kid

According to Jack Wilder, no one was un-pickpocket-able. No one. Not to him, anyway. He was one of the best pickpockets out there; it was his thing, his namesake. His mark on the world. No one could feel him do a thing and they never realized their watches and wallets were gone until it was too late. At least, that’s what he thought.

And then came Dylan Shrike. 

He’d known Dylan was an amazing magician, but Jack hadn’t realized how impervious he was to sleight of hand until the day he tried to steal from him. It wasn’t actually to get anything, he just wanted to see if he could do it. Test the waters. See if this ‘great magician’ really was all that great. 

Well, he was. And it was annoying.

Dylan was leaning against the kitchen counter, focused on his phone and microwaving an instant meal pack from the grocery store. He wasn’t exactly one for cooking. Jack padded up behind him and tried to look at his phone, holding his hands behind his back.

“Whatcha doing?” he asked, pretending to be nosy and interested. Dylan looked down at him and moved the phone out of his line of sight. 

“Nothing that concerns you, peewee, now move along,” he replied. Jack just snickered.

“Aww, come on! I’m just curious!” He slipped his hand into Dylan’s pocket. “Also, I’m almost as tall as you.”

“Yeah,  _almost_  kid, and–” His eyes widened and his hand snapped down, grabbing Jack’s wrist before he even had time to think. He pulled his hand out of his pocket and glared at him, Jack’s mind going into panic mode.

“Really?” Dylan asked, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“H-hey, it’s not like that! I just wanted to see if I could do it!”

Dylan rolled his eyes and let Jack’s wrist go, focusing back on his phone. Jack let out a small sigh of relief – he usually associated that kind of situation with getting arrested. Not a good mental pathway to follow.

“Don’t try to play a player, kid,” Dylan said. The microwave beeped and he put his phone in his pocket, pulling out the instant meal pack. He gave Jack a smirk before walking away, leaving the kid fuming next to the microwave. 

***

When he told the story to Lula, all she did was snort. 

“Dude, he’s a member of the Eye,” she said, grinning at Jack as she shuffled a deck of cards. “Seriously. You thought you were gonna pick his pocket?”

“What, is that really so unrealistic?” Jack asked, crossing his arms. “I can pick literally everyone else’s pockets!”

“Not mine,” Lula reminded him. Her grin was starting to annoy him.

But she was right. Jack had a hard time picking her pockets. She was probably better than him at stealing, actually – not that he was going to admit that.

“Alright, fine,” Jack said, leaning back against the couch. “If you think you’re so great, why don’t you try?”

“To pick Dylan Shrike’s pockets? Yeah right, I’m not an idiot, Jack.”

“Oh I’m sorry, is that you chickening out I hear?”

Lula pushed out her lower jaw and glared at him, slipping her deck of cards into her pocket. “I’m not falling for that,” she said.

“I think you just did.”

She huffed and turned away. Jack smiled; he had her hooked.

“Okay, fine, let’s do this,” she said, turning back around. “I pick his pocket, I get top bunk for a week.”

“Fine,” Jack replied with a smirk, “but if you lose, you do dishes for a week.”

“Oh that is cruel, Wilder.”

He shrugged. “All’s fair in love and war, bro. You better get going if you want that top bunk.”

Lula shot him another glare before standing up off the couch and walking away, Jack smirking at the back of her head.

***

The next day after dinner, while Dylan was washing dishes, Lula came and sat next to Jack on the couch. 

“What’s up?” he asked.

She smirked in reply and pulled out Dylan Shrike’s wallet.

Jack’s jaw dropped open in shock.

“I win,” she said. Still had that insufferable smirk on her face. Was this what it was like when he smirked at  _her_? God, no wonder she got so pissed at him.

“But…” Jack was at a loss for words. “I… how?”

Lula just grinned and slipped the wallet back in her pocket. “Oh Jack,” she said, “a magician never reveals her secrets.”

He was too surprised to come up with a snappy retort. Luckily, he didn’t have to.

In the kitchen, Jack heard the sink shut off and Dylan say, “Hey, where’s my–” A pause. “LULA!”

Her face paled. “Shit.”

Lula catapulted herself off the couch and ran for the door, nearly slamming into the wall on her way out. Dylan was right on her heels, yelling bloody murder and holding a slightly wet dishrag, leaving Jack laughing in the apartment behind them.


	2. Ice Cream

“Ice cream is the best invention ever made,” Lula said, licking her ice cream cone while sitting on a picnic table in Central Park. She and Jack had just bought ice cream at a nearby shop, and they were very much enjoying it. Dylan was still inside, getting his own ice cream since he’d been late. 

“What flavors?” Jack asked, taking a glance at her cone as he ate his own ice cream. 

“Mint chocolate chip and cookie batter. With rainbow sprinkles. You?”

“Turtle tracks. And like, ten gallons of caramel and chocolate chips.”

“You mean the ice cream with those chocolate and caramel turtles?”

“Yeup.”

“Jack, that’s like… caramel and chocolate on  _top_  of caramel and chocolate.”

“What? I really like caramel and chocolate!”

Lula just rolled her eyes and took another lick of ice cream. “Nerd,” she said.

“Oh excuse me, Ms. Rainbow Sprinkles, I didn’t realize you were the authority on ice cream.”

“ _Rainbow sprinkles_  are god’s gift to humanity, Jack Wilder.”

He just laughed. “Whatever. Enjoy your baby ice cream. For babies.”

“You know, I’d smash this cone into your face, but this ice cream is worth more to me than you are.”

“Ooh, roasted.”

“I mean it, you’re going down after I finish this cone. One on one, duel for ice cream supremacy. Let’s go.”

Jack Wilder just kept laughing. So help her, Lula was going to pummel him. She was about to tell him so too when Dylan walked up and sat on the table next to her, holding a cup of… what?

“Dylan,” Lula said. “What are you eating?”

He looked at her like he’d been personally offended, his spoon still in his mouth. “Ice cream,” he said.

“Uh, no,” Jack said, leaning forward to look at Dylan’s cup. “That’s not ice cream. That’s a disgrace.”

“What? Are you kidding me?” Dylan took his spoon out of his mouth so he could argue better. “Plain old vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup, that’s the way to go.”

“You are  _so wrong_ , oh my god,” Lula said.

Jack shook his head. “Lies and blasphemy, Dylan.”

“You kids are just spoiled. What I’ve got here is  _real_  ice cream. What, can’t a man enjoy something simple without getting judged?”

“Uh, yeah no,” Lula replied, “not when flavors like rocky road and blue moon exist. Like come on, you could’ve at least gotten strawberry! Toppings? A  _single_  cherry? Honestly.”

“Yeah Dylan, this is shameful, we’re gonna have to disown you,” Jack said, smirking. “We’re taking over the apartment. You’re kicked out.”

“I pay for that apartment, you little shit, just try me,” Dylan replied, taking another bite of ice cream. “Now shut up and let me eat my ice cream in peace.”

Jack and Lula bit their tongues, glancing at each other in silence as Dylan enjoyed his dessert. Eventually, Lula couldn’t take it anymore.

“I mean,” she whispered, loud enough for Dylan to hear, “he’s even eating it out of a  _bowl_ –”

_“Lula!”_


End file.
